I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
