Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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