Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
im on a boat
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