So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
