nut hugger
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
