am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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