Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
