i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
