Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
