Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
