When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
