i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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