it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
