they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
So much rum. So many feels.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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