guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
