Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
