He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
