are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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