He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
