The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
