My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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