With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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