you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
