I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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