oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
