dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
