At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
