I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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