She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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