Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
