he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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