You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
