I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
