We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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