Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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