My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
