Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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