I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
