i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
