I got chris browned last night
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
