When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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