Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
