I CAN MOONWALK!
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
