I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
