why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
