They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
