i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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