So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
