So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
