Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
