I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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